Today is a big day in the Graham household. . . little Jellybean turns 12 today. She's been announcing for eons (or at least since her older sister's birthday on May 12th) that she's going to be "12 on the 12th." Back in May, October seemed so far away and yet in the blink of an eye, here we find ourselves. Every year on Jelly's birthday, my husband and I will inevitably spend time remembering the day of her birth and what that whole experience was like for us. It's never planned and it's never been deemed a formal "tradition", but as we wind down each evening on October 12th, we find ourselves remembering the day that Jelly joined our family.
And as I sit here waiting for my hubby to get home so we can go out for our "traditional" birthday dinner, I can't help but wonder what the day will be like when our son joins our family. I wonder if that special day will be an annual day of celebration for us as well. I wonder if hubby and I will spend that evening each year talking about the day that our son came home. I wonder what we will talk about on the evening of each of his birthdays.
On this 12th day of October, we are quite possible 12 short weeks out from bringing our son home. Last January when we started this process, we thought that a December or January home coming date was soooo far away, and yet it's almost here!!
On Saturday we have our final home visit for our Home Study (YEAH!!). We could quite possibly be sending off for our US Immigration clearance by the beginning of November. With that timeline, we could feasibly have our Federal clearance and our Jamaican adoption license sometime in December. WOW!!! That's incredible!!
So, our next big step is planning a time to go to Jamaica to share the good news with our little guy!! It's the most incredible and scary thing to contemplate right now.
Please be in prayer for us as we close in on the last few steps of this "home coming" journey. We are believing for a quick turn around for our home study report, a quick turn around for our Immigration clearance, and a quick and positive approval with the Jamaican court system. We are also believing for the remainder of the funds to come in to cover these last few expenses. We have sold just over 1/2 of the pieces to our puzzle. We need to sell the remaining pieces in order to pay everything off. We are asking all of our friends and family to purchase at least 1 puzzle piece for $10 and to prayerfully consider sharing our adoption story with at least 2 other people.
Well, hubby's home, so off to dinner we go to celebrate our little "12 on the 12th" bday girl!!
Piece of the Puzzle
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Project Keddar Day
I first wrote this piece on March 25th, as a guest writer for Project 3six5. I can't believe it has over 8100 views!!
I wake up 20 minutes before my alarm to the sound of my husband snoring. Usually it wouldn’t be a welcoming noise, but since he’s just gotten back home after a weeklong business trip, the deep & familiar nasal rumblings brings a smile to my face. It’s nice to have him home.
Trying not to disturb him, I throw on my robe and softly pad down the carpeted hallway knocking on bedroom doors to ensure that the girls get up in time for school. Before my body completely loses its “nighttime warmth”, I hurriedly jump back into bed, thankful for the day off from work. I lay there trying not to be fully awake (since my alarm has yet to sound) listening to the house come alive, one daughter showering in the bathroom, the other opening and closing drawers in her quest for the perfect Friday outfit, and the dog stretching in her crate hoping to be let out soon. I almost can’t imagine life getting any better than it is now. But then I remember, life IS getting even better than this! And now I’m fully awake!
Today is Project Keddar day! Today is the day to wrap up the last few “to do” items for our adoption dossier. As though God was listening to my thoughts, my ipod alarm chimes in with “I Am Not Forgotten” by Izreal & New Breed. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks as I’m taken back to last November when I first heard that song and first met Keddar at the orphanage in Jamaica. I went on the mission trip with the intention of using my teaching background to assist in the orphanage’s school for a week. I had no plans to fall in love with a little 10-year-old boy that had an eerie resemblance to my Jamaican husband, right down to the chocolate complexion and dimpled cheeks. There’s a saying that goes, “People plan and God laughs.” I think God is having a good laugh right now.
Warmed by the thought of my growing family, I lean over and wake my sleeping hubby. It’s time to get up and start Project Keddar day!
Here's the original link:
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Putting First Things First
Yesterday at work I was feeling completely overwhelmed. Transitioning to a traditional school schedule without a vice principal has truly put a demand on my time, energy, and work load like nothing that I could imagine. As I sat at my desk yesterday looking at all the stacks of papers that I needed to review, the enormous amount of emails that I had yet to respond to, the 2 page "to do" list, the 10 parent calls to return, and the upcoming appointments, I just felt like I was drowning. I shared with someone that all the things that I love to do as a principal and all the things that I thought I would be doing as a principal are getting squeezed out and replaced with tasks that used to belong to other site personnel before their positions were eliminated. I was bemoaning the "good ole' days" of really being able to focus on the things that I'm passionate about with my work.
I was reflecting on this yesterday evening when I got home, when I realized that I had allowed the demands of the job also squeeze out the most important aspects of my "non-work" life. I was moving further and further away from what really needed my "passionate" attention at home. And I've been down that road already - I know where that journey takes me physically, emotionally and relationally with my husband and family.
So today I woke up before my alarm - 3:52 am to be exact! I took a few minutes to pray and then headed out to the gym. I had a great, sweaty, grueling cardio session listening to all my favorite praise music. I came home and spent some quality time reading and reflecting on the day's Bible reading from the Life Journal that we're using at our church. Even after all of that, I still had time to prep dinner (season a roast, cut up some veggies and throw them in the crock pot) and get to work early! And what a different day I had at work today!! The workload hadn't changed, the demands were no less daunting, but I was different. I had started my day focusing on those things that need to take priority - my relationship with Christ (reading scripture, listening to praise music), my family (preparing dinner so we could look forward to quality family time at the dinner table), and my health (though my sore quads my argue).
As familiar as Matthew 6:33 is - "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." - it can sometimes be so easy to let all the wrong things impede on time spent seeking God. But when we do align ourselves with His word - WOW!! He shows up and adds to our life all the ingredients that we need!! God cares for us and about every aspect of our life. When His word says "all these things shall be added", it truly means ALL the things that we need (see Matthew 6:32). Sometimes we need the obstacles, challenges and situations to be removed, but sometimes what we need is to be reminded of His promises & His love so that we can endure those challenging situations with grace, love and peace. I'm so thankful that I know and serve a patient, forgiving and loving God. Who steps right in and meets my every need. I pray that I will not lose site of putting "First Things First."
I was reflecting on this yesterday evening when I got home, when I realized that I had allowed the demands of the job also squeeze out the most important aspects of my "non-work" life. I was moving further and further away from what really needed my "passionate" attention at home. And I've been down that road already - I know where that journey takes me physically, emotionally and relationally with my husband and family.
So today I woke up before my alarm - 3:52 am to be exact! I took a few minutes to pray and then headed out to the gym. I had a great, sweaty, grueling cardio session listening to all my favorite praise music. I came home and spent some quality time reading and reflecting on the day's Bible reading from the Life Journal that we're using at our church. Even after all of that, I still had time to prep dinner (season a roast, cut up some veggies and throw them in the crock pot) and get to work early! And what a different day I had at work today!! The workload hadn't changed, the demands were no less daunting, but I was different. I had started my day focusing on those things that need to take priority - my relationship with Christ (reading scripture, listening to praise music), my family (preparing dinner so we could look forward to quality family time at the dinner table), and my health (though my sore quads my argue).
As familiar as Matthew 6:33 is - "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." - it can sometimes be so easy to let all the wrong things impede on time spent seeking God. But when we do align ourselves with His word - WOW!! He shows up and adds to our life all the ingredients that we need!! God cares for us and about every aspect of our life. When His word says "all these things shall be added", it truly means ALL the things that we need (see Matthew 6:32). Sometimes we need the obstacles, challenges and situations to be removed, but sometimes what we need is to be reminded of His promises & His love so that we can endure those challenging situations with grace, love and peace. I'm so thankful that I know and serve a patient, forgiving and loving God. Who steps right in and meets my every need. I pray that I will not lose site of putting "First Things First."
Monday, September 5, 2011
The Real Cost of Adopting
For the last couple of weeks, and especially over this weekend, I have let myself be really bothered by the mean-spiritedness of another person regarding our adoption & our need to fundraise. I think the thing that has bothered me the most is the fact that this person has completely mis-represented my intentions in this particular situation. In all areas of my life, I truly work to operate with integrity and with pure intentions. And while I make plenty of mistakes in life & don't always do things properly, I know that those closest to me do know the condition of my heart. And even as I write this, I realize how silly it is for me to let the actions of someone who doesn't know me, or my heart, to affect me so deeply. There's the old saying "those who matter, don't mind; and those who mind, don't matter." However, as much as I know that to be true, I can only assume that my heart is troubled because the adoption is a heart issue for me and my family.
Since we began our adoption process 10 months ago, I have sought out adoption blogs, website and groups in order to better educate and prepare myself for this new journey that we are on. I have heard many family's talk about the "cost" of adoption that have nothing to do with money. Just a few days ago, someone sent me the link to a post on just the same topic. While there are definite financial costs to the process, there are other costs that only adopting families really understand. One of those being the cost of enduring hurtful opinions and comments from people - strangers and loved ones alike.
Just a few hours ago, my youngest daughter, Jelly Bean, and I were working on adding another 62 pieces to our adoption puzzle that came in this week (WHOO HOO!). As we sat there working together, I was reminded of just how many benefits there are to being on this journey - precious and amazing experiences that far outweigh whatever challenges may occur. Seeing my daughter's face light up as she talks about her excitement at having her brother home soon. Listening to both of my daughters talking about all the things they are looking forward to when "their brother" comes home. Planning for our first Christmas together as a family of five. Developing connections and relationships with other people who have a passion for helping orphans. Watching God move in ways that we've never seen before. Becoming more connected with my husband and we go through the home study process. Hearing my daughters' level of appreciation for the gifts of support from other families and seeing it translate into a desire to "pay it forward."
When I think on all of this, I know that the costs are SO WORTH IT!! Whatever hurt my heart must endure through this process, I know that the reward of being able to replace that hurt with the love of another child in our home and our hearts is a small price to pay.
Since we began our adoption process 10 months ago, I have sought out adoption blogs, website and groups in order to better educate and prepare myself for this new journey that we are on. I have heard many family's talk about the "cost" of adoption that have nothing to do with money. Just a few days ago, someone sent me the link to a post on just the same topic. While there are definite financial costs to the process, there are other costs that only adopting families really understand. One of those being the cost of enduring hurtful opinions and comments from people - strangers and loved ones alike.
Just a few hours ago, my youngest daughter, Jelly Bean, and I were working on adding another 62 pieces to our adoption puzzle that came in this week (WHOO HOO!). As we sat there working together, I was reminded of just how many benefits there are to being on this journey - precious and amazing experiences that far outweigh whatever challenges may occur. Seeing my daughter's face light up as she talks about her excitement at having her brother home soon. Listening to both of my daughters talking about all the things they are looking forward to when "their brother" comes home. Planning for our first Christmas together as a family of five. Developing connections and relationships with other people who have a passion for helping orphans. Watching God move in ways that we've never seen before. Becoming more connected with my husband and we go through the home study process. Hearing my daughters' level of appreciation for the gifts of support from other families and seeing it translate into a desire to "pay it forward."
When I think on all of this, I know that the costs are SO WORTH IT!! Whatever hurt my heart must endure through this process, I know that the reward of being able to replace that hurt with the love of another child in our home and our hearts is a small price to pay.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thankful
What a surprise it was to check our adoption email while sitting in the orthopedic surgeon's office waiting for hubby to be seen & find a donation posted by his ortho doc! We had briefly mentioned the adoption to him at the last visit and he blessed us with a donation. While in the appointment, I think he talked asked us more about the adoption than my hubby's knee! I can share story after story like this where people that we barely know have given to our cause. And then there are the high school friends that we haven't talked to in almost 20 years, and the complete strangers who've we've never met but heard our story from a mutual acquaintance, and the distant work associates and the old navy buddies. The list goes on and on. My heart is just so full, so thankful for the generosity of others.
Here's what our puzzle looks like so far:
We have raised enough to pay the next installment of our Home Study, exactly at the time that it's due. With the next $1000 will be able to pay the balance due. I am trusting God that those monies will arrive right when we need them. This is the biggest faith walk that I've ever experienced and I'm learning and growing so much through this process.
"Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing." Isaiah 26:4 MSG
Here's what our puzzle looks like so far:
 |
| Our first 87 pieces sold! |
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| Each piece is "tagged" with the name of the person who bought it |
We have raised enough to pay the next installment of our Home Study, exactly at the time that it's due. With the next $1000 will be able to pay the balance due. I am trusting God that those monies will arrive right when we need them. This is the biggest faith walk that I've ever experienced and I'm learning and growing so much through this process.
"Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing." Isaiah 26:4 MSG
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Hole in Our Gospel
A few weeks ago hubby and I were talking to another couple about our adoption and our fundraiser. The couple became very excited about our journey and began sharing our story in an effort to encourage others to become a "piece of the puzzle." Last week one of them was sharing our story with someone, & this person became extremely offended. First they felt like my & hubby's salaries should be sufficient to pay for an adoption (REALLY??) and if they weren't, we certainly shouldn't be asking other people for money to pay for this. After several other objections, he said he was also offended that our adoption flyer included a scripture. When I first heard about his response, I was really hurt because I felt like his comments were a personal attack. Then I became incredulous. I couldn't understand how someone could reduce the opportunity to be a part of giving an orphaned child a home, to being an issue about my income and a one sentence scripture in 8 pt font on a 2X3 inch picture.
But then I was reminded of a book that I've been reading, "The Hole in Our Gospel." The basic premise is that many of us Christians have reduced the Wholeness of the Gospel to being simply about salvation, deliverance from sin, & a better life in the next life. While these things are certainly important and key to our faith - the gospel, the Good News, is about more than just this. It's about creating a better life NOW. The whole gospel includes lifting up the poor, orphaned and marginalized, challenging injustice, rejecting worldly values, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Any attempt to live a life based upon the "gospel" without those things, is a gospel with holes in it. Having a head knowledge of what the "gospel" means is not enough, it must be accompanied by the heart, hands & feet. It must involve action on our part for others.
I realize that the man's opinion about our fundraising isn't about me, just like this adoption isn't about me. This adoption is about God's love in action. My family is simply a willing vessel being used by God to show His love to a child in need. This is our calling to live out the whole gospel in this life. Instead of being mad at the gentleman who's unable or unwilling to see the bigger picture, I am choosing to care enough about him to pray for his heart to be touched - not for my benefit or the benefit of our adoption, but for his benefit. And just like in my opinion, he's missing the bigger picture. I know that there have been many times that in God's opinion, I have been guilty of the same thing. So I continue to also pray for myself - that I will never again be blind to what God wants me to see nor be numb to what He wants me to feel nor be deaf to what He wants me to hear. Break my heart Lord for the things that break your heart. I want to have a heart after God's own heart and for Him to make me an answer.
But then I was reminded of a book that I've been reading, "The Hole in Our Gospel." The basic premise is that many of us Christians have reduced the Wholeness of the Gospel to being simply about salvation, deliverance from sin, & a better life in the next life. While these things are certainly important and key to our faith - the gospel, the Good News, is about more than just this. It's about creating a better life NOW. The whole gospel includes lifting up the poor, orphaned and marginalized, challenging injustice, rejecting worldly values, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Any attempt to live a life based upon the "gospel" without those things, is a gospel with holes in it. Having a head knowledge of what the "gospel" means is not enough, it must be accompanied by the heart, hands & feet. It must involve action on our part for others.
I realize that the man's opinion about our fundraising isn't about me, just like this adoption isn't about me. This adoption is about God's love in action. My family is simply a willing vessel being used by God to show His love to a child in need. This is our calling to live out the whole gospel in this life. Instead of being mad at the gentleman who's unable or unwilling to see the bigger picture, I am choosing to care enough about him to pray for his heart to be touched - not for my benefit or the benefit of our adoption, but for his benefit. And just like in my opinion, he's missing the bigger picture. I know that there have been many times that in God's opinion, I have been guilty of the same thing. So I continue to also pray for myself - that I will never again be blind to what God wants me to see nor be numb to what He wants me to feel nor be deaf to what He wants me to hear. Break my heart Lord for the things that break your heart. I want to have a heart after God's own heart and for Him to make me an answer.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
A hole in my heart
A couple of days ago we were informed that the results of an EGK for our son showed that he has a hole in his heart and he has also been diagnosed with asthma. He has a follow up appointment in 2 weeks to determine the next course of action - possibly surgery.
Ever since I got the news I feel as though I have a hole in my heart. My heart just grieves for him. I feel as though the hole in my heart is only going to be whole when I'm able to hold him in my arms. It's strange that this child that I have only met twice has managed to carve out such a big place in my heart and in my thoughts. If he has to have surgery, I want to be the "mommy" that is waiting for him when he wakes up from surgery. I want to be the "mommy" that cares for him and nurses him back to recovery. I almost feel jealous of his "family" in Jamaica that gets to be with him every day - watching him grow up and experience life.
Our 2nd home study visit was today - mine and Fil's interviews. I'm so thankful that we have taken one more step on this journey. I'm praying that the finances will be provided and the process expedited so that our son is home for the holidays.
Ever since I got the news I feel as though I have a hole in my heart. My heart just grieves for him. I feel as though the hole in my heart is only going to be whole when I'm able to hold him in my arms. It's strange that this child that I have only met twice has managed to carve out such a big place in my heart and in my thoughts. If he has to have surgery, I want to be the "mommy" that is waiting for him when he wakes up from surgery. I want to be the "mommy" that cares for him and nurses him back to recovery. I almost feel jealous of his "family" in Jamaica that gets to be with him every day - watching him grow up and experience life.
Our 2nd home study visit was today - mine and Fil's interviews. I'm so thankful that we have taken one more step on this journey. I'm praying that the finances will be provided and the process expedited so that our son is home for the holidays.
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