A few days ago, I found some writing that I had done when I went to Jamaica in December to turn in our completed Home Study and to share with Keddar that we were adopting him. Here's part 1
December 3, 2011 -
As the captain announces our decent into Jamaica, I feel by body begin to tense. I'm unclear as to what to attribute this to. I should be ecstatic, happy, joyful, but instead I'm anxious about the moments ahead. I feel like so much is riding on this trip . . . I try to calm myself by remembering all the God has done to bring me to this moment. There is comfort in that - knowing that God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me & He has ordained this time.
It's funny that the interior of the Jamaican airport has begun to feel familiar. I guess 3 trips in one year will do that! I gather my luggage & step out into the Jamaican humidity. Even this is now familiar and no longer feels oppressive. The enveloping muggy air enwraps me like a hug from a welcoming friend. I take a deep breath, and look up into the mountains - both anxious and excited to get up the hill so that I can see my son.
With that thought, I realize that I have no idea who's picking us up from the airport. I begin to scan the crowd looking for a pale face (no offense Steve Jr!) in the middle of all the beautiful brown tones. . . . And then I see a familiar little face. My heart skips a beat and then does a little dance in my chest! It's the best "Welcome to Jamaica" greeting ever! Keddar is at the airport! I think in that moment that my smile is as big as his. We just stand there for a full minute grinning at each other before I give him a great big momma bear hug.
Even though we know that God is an amazingly great God, there are times when there is no denying not only His love for us, but His concern about every little detail of our life. Seeing Keddar at the airport was like having God say to me "daughter, I know your spoken & your unspoken desires and I delight in granting them. You have nothing to be concerned about. I have ordained this and it shall be. Just sit back and enjoy the journey."
Speaking of . . . on the way up the mountain, Keddar lays his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep like it's the most natural thing in the world. And I believe, it is.