The Wait Is Over!

Once again, I have let this blog lapse. Life has been so busy, but more importantly so little was happening with the adoption, that there just wasn't much to share expect for heartache, frustration, and disappointment.  I will however create a post with a timeline of event that have occurred over the past 32 months.

But, today brings GREAT news!! We have finally received our USCIS approval for our little guy to come home! Hubby and I will be flying out to Jamaica this coming Saturday!! We should receive KG's visa next Friday and return home next Saturday, Aug. 31 with our son. I can't believe that we are finally at the end of the first leg of this journey. It is so surreal.

Quite honestly, after waiting and waiting and waiting, my first thought when we got the news was "Oh, No. WAIT! Am I really ready for this???" I'm excited, scared, nervous, ecstatic, anxious. overjoyed - just one big ball of emotion. Everything changes from here forward. The life we've known is no more, on so many levels.

We marching head on into uncharted territory. We have no road map, no plan, no guideline, no template, but what we do have is so much more. We have the One who has been with us all along, the One who knows the end from the beginning, the One who knew we would be right here, right now. That is my comfort. That is what I am holding on to. It is that knowledge that is going to allow me to get on that plan in less than 48 hours and bring a 12 year old from another country into my home and be his first and forever mommy.

Guest Blog for 3six5

I got a chance to guest blog for 3six5 (dot) com again this year.  Here's a link to my post. Please leave a comment on the site to increase my chances of being able to blog for them again!

ENJOY!

http://the3six5.posterous.com/june-16-2012-ilesha-graham

Journey in Patience

Well today is June 1st. It makes 17 months that we have been on our adoption journey. I never imagined that the summer of 2012 would come without our son at home with us. I know in Jamaica they would say that "ev'ry ting is irie" but it's really not!! I miss my little guy so much. Someone who visited JA in April sent me some pictures of Keddar from their trip. It's amazing how much he has grown since I was there in December. It's starting to lose his "baby face."

A couple of weeks ago, I spoke with our assigned adoption worker in JA. She had FINALLY done her "adoption readiness" interview with Keddar. She had anticipated completing it in early April, but I guess late May is that "same ting". Anyway she commented about how impressed she was with Keddar. She said he is an amazing young man (of course he is!!). He told her that she needed to hurry up and finish the process so that he could be home in time to start school in the fall. A boy after my own heart - prioritizing education!  The good news is that she was so smitten by Keddar that she said that she is going to work diligently to finish us up by July!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!

So we've applied for the girls' passports and are standing in faith that July is the magical month. We are asking for all of our friends and family to also stand in agreement with us for a homecoming next month. It's so difficult to be so close and have no means of speeding up (i.e. controlling) the process. For those who know me, you know that this unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory for me. But I guess that's why I've called this a journey. It's not only a journey towards adoption, but also a journey in faith and trust and patience!!

Tonight is hubby's album release party where we will raise funds for the adoption. I'm looking forward to sharing our story with the folks that come. Maybe beyond being inspired to give, someone will be inspired to adopt!!

It's a New Season

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about how much I LOVE spring, even though it is one of the most unpredictable and frustrating times of the year. One day it’s sunny, the next day it’s raining and the day after that it’s overcast & windy! Once we get a couple of warm weather days, I excitedly pack away my heavy, bulky winter gear so I can get reacquainted with all my cute skirts and strappy wedges, just to have to frantically tear apart my carefully sealed “winter wear” boxes because the weather dropped 20 degrees overnight! And then there are those days when I’m dressed for 60 degree weather (because that’s what the weatherman predicted) only to have it heat up to a balmy 75 degrees by lunchtime.  Do you know how it feels to be standing on an asphalt playground in 70+ degree weather supervising recess in knee high black boots with sweaty calves?? And let’s not even talk about the days of getting caught in the rain without an umbrella. One of the black woman’s worst nightmares!

Despite all the erratic climate patterns, I still LOVE spring. Even in the midst of all the uncertainty, my step is lighter, my smile is brighter and I have a joyful expectation for what the new season is going to bring. I believe that this is exactly how God wants us to receive every “season” in our life.  

Sometimes we go through unpredictable & frustrating seasons of change. Despite our best planning, sometimes our “forecast” is off and we are left standing a little unprepared and uncomfortable. There are times when we feel completely caught off guard or like we’ve encountered the worst thing that could ever happen. Even in the midst of those seasons, we can still “count it all joy” because even when we don’t know what the future holds, we do know Who holds the future!

The bible says, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  I love this verse because it reassures us that everything on earth is seasonal & therefore temporary. No hardship will last forever. We can also be comforted in knowing that there is a purpose for everything that we go through – even the difficult seasons.

The Word of God also tells us that “… ALL things work together for good to those who love God…” (Romans 8:28). And ALL means ALL! Everything that we are going through will work together for our good. Just like the exasperating irregularity of springtime serves as the springboard for new blooms, new growth and new life in nature- our seasons of unfamiliarity, drought, &/or difficulty serve as the springboard for something new & good in our own life.  

So do not grow weary in well doing! Approach each day with a joyful expectation for what God is going to do in, and through, you! Give thanks, even in the hard times, knowing that your new season is on its way! 


What is it that you believe God is birthing in you? What "new season" to you believe is coming your way?

He said "YES!" (12/7/11)

A few days ago, I found some writing that I had done when I went to Jamaica in December to turn in our completed Home Study and to share with Keddar that we were adopting him. Here's part 3

December 7, 2011 -

I'm weepy all through breakfast - can't stop that rebellious left eye from leaking. It's blowing my cover!! How am I going to make it to tonight???

Ha! I didn't need to worry about that. The kindergarten class was exceptionally challenging today, leaving me not a moment to think about anything else. It was the toughest 3 hours I've had in a long time. But I must admin, also the most fulfilling. Being able to use my gifts in serve to these children is a tremendous blessing to me.

After lunch, Portia (one of my co-travelers) and I head down to the construction site to help out the guys. Or at least that's the story we're telling each other! I think she's going to see a special employee and I'm really  going to wait until Keddar get out of school. :0)

No sooner that I see Keddar's teacher leaving for the day, do I hear a pair of size 2 feet running across the walkway. He rounds the corner and stands transfixed - just staring at me with that captivating smile of his. I hold him hostage a few more moments while I take in his too big shoes, ashy legs & knees, "hammy down" shorts and mix-match sleeveless shirt revealing undersized limbs, and those pleading eyes - before I tell him to come over and give me a great big hug!!

Tonight after service, we had planned to Skype Fil so Keddar could say "hello". Little did he know the real purpose of the call was for Fil and I to ask him if he would allow us to adopt him. We'll share the video when the time is right, but I'll just say "He say YES!!"  It was one of the most powerful moments in my life. I can't begin to explain what those few moments were like. It's a feeling like no other. In the midst of our celebration, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was created to be this little boy's momma. Everything in my life has been preparing me to to have the unbelievable privilege of caring for and raising this precious child of God.

Sunday on the mountain (12/4/11)

A few days ago, I found some writing that I had done when I went to Jamaica in December to turn in our completed Home Study and to share with Keddar that we were adopting him. Here's part 2

December 4, 2011 -

I love Sunday mornings on the mountain. I think the higher the elevation makes me feel closer to God - or maybe it's just being surrounded by so much natural beauty - whatever it is, it's definitely God's country up here!  As the children file into the Multi-Purpose room, I can barely contain my excitement. Is it wrong to be more excited about seeing Keddar than service? If so, all I can do is ask for forgiveness because that 's the honest truth.  

The stage has somehow been set prior to service & everyone knows their part. I'm tickled to see all the older boys saving a spot next to me because that's "Keddar's seat." The message travels quickly to the girls and younger boys, as well. No one argues, they just move accordingly. Finally Keddar is in his rightful place next to me & the children are ready for service. Midway through, I notice an added weight on my arm & look down to see that Keddar has traded in his bible to share mine. How sweet is that?? 

Welcome to Jamaica - again! (12/3/11)

A few days ago, I found some writing that I had done when I went to Jamaica in December to turn in our completed Home Study and to share with Keddar that we were adopting him. Here's part 1

December 3, 2011 -

As the captain announces our decent into Jamaica, I feel by body begin to tense. I'm unclear as to what to attribute this to. I should be ecstatic, happy, joyful, but instead I'm anxious about the moments ahead. I feel like so much is riding on this trip . . . I try to calm myself by remembering all the God has done to bring me to this moment. There is comfort in that  - knowing that God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me & He has ordained this time.

It's funny that the interior of the Jamaican airport has begun to feel familiar. I guess 3 trips in one year will do that! I gather my luggage & step out into the Jamaican humidity. Even this is now familiar and no longer feels oppressive. The enveloping muggy air enwraps me like a hug from a welcoming friend. I take a deep breath, and look up into the mountains - both anxious and excited to get up the hill so that I can see my son.

With that thought, I realize that I have no idea who's picking us up from the airport. I begin to scan the crowd looking for a pale face (no offense Steve Jr!) in the middle of all the beautiful brown tones. . . . And then I see a familiar little face. My heart skips a beat and then does a little dance in my chest! It's the best "Welcome to Jamaica" greeting ever! Keddar is at the airport! I think in that moment that my smile is as big as his. We just stand there for a full minute grinning at each other before I give him a great big momma bear hug.

Even though we know that God is an amazingly great God, there are times when there is no denying not only His love for us, but His concern about every little detail of our life. Seeing Keddar at the airport was like having God say to me "daughter, I know your spoken & your unspoken desires and I delight in granting them. You have nothing to be concerned about. I have ordained this and it shall be. Just sit back and enjoy the journey."

Speaking of . . . on the way up the mountain, Keddar lays his head on my shoulder and goes to sleep like it's the most natural thing in the world.  And I believe, it is.